Saturday, March 27

‘Look at the poor fuckers! Imagine waking up in the morning and knowing that’s as good as you’re going to feel all fucking day?’

I remember the sun and the harsh wind which insisted on ruining my hair cut and diverging my not-so-straight walk. I sometimes looked down and watched my feet mysteriously appearing and disappearing. Until I could process the natural effects of walking, I was already thinking about something else. People around me… they were watching me as if I did something wrong, as if I were to blame for everything. Hm, paranoia. Definitely not good.

The road was almost infinite and I thought I was incapable of arriving on time at rehearsals. I was checking the watch every 20 seconds and each time I had the impression that the clock stopped ticking or that the world was going to hell. Although the sun accomplished its goal, the wind overcame it thus, providing a chilly weather. Apparently, that didn’t stop me to be scantily dressed. Time unconsciousness, paranoia and cold insensitivity. Bad.

While smoking, I could actually see the small particles of the smoke floating around me. My hands were pretty hard to control so I was moving slowly. In fact, everything was slow, even my perceptions. Well, especially my perceptions. People tried talking to me and I couldn’t respond immediately. I could hear them crystal clear but something delayed the information in getting to the brain. Dying neurons. Worse?

The nausea was acceptable but it influenced my mood so, overall, I felt like crap. Physical effects. The worst.

I tried remembering the past 2 hours. Blank as an Alzheimer short-term memory. Bummer!

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